Service: Words of Wisdom from Rachel Naomi Remen, MD
With the subtleties of language, let alone our interpersonal differences that can make communication difficult, it’s often a wonder to me that we as humans understand one another as well as we do. On our best days, we’re attuned to and interested in those around us – and want to be clear with those we love without making assumptions. And maybe that’s why, on our cloudier days, the patient presence of a household pet can make us feel more understood and accepted than any of our human relationships; the communication I have with my dog has little to do with words.
On days when our verbal communication isn’t at its best, we can always rely on these non-verbal messages to speak for us. We are better than we give ourselves credit for at gauging the intentions behind the actions of others. These musings on intention and message are triggered by this quote from Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen:
“Helping, fixing and serving represent three different ways of seeing life. When you help, you see life as weak. When you fix, you see life as broken. When you serve, you see life as whole. Fixing and helping may be the work of the ego, and service the work of the soul.”
There is no pathology in serving another, as this is a collaborative effort. Service simply implies that there’s a need to be heard and met. As Remen suggests, service doesn’t promote the self but rather the togetherness of two people. Try as we might in our society to pretend that we act independently of one another, in a vacuum, we have untold influence over one another. Service is sneaky! It can be as simple as the attitude with which you encounter strangers in the grocery store.
We’re grateful at The Holding Group for this conception of service, so beautifully articulated by Dr. Remen. This is what gets us up in the morning, is much of the meaning in our lives and one of the core reasons The Holding Group has come to be. As we all strive to make meaning and purpose of our lives and the challenges we face, doesn’t genuine interaction with another being typically make us feel more grounded, connected, seen?
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